hypnagogic delusion

I've heard of hypnagogic hallucinations before, but never of hypnagogic delusions. It's my own term, in fact, to describe some recent experiences. Before I mention the experiences, I want to share some background. Many years ago when I learned what schizophrenia was it was the delusions that were hard to understand. It was a silly state of mind to not understand delusions. I mean, I understood what delusions were, but the trouble was I just couldn't accept that people had them. A normal reaction upon learning about schizophrenia would be to just accept that the disease often caused one to hold beliefs despite good evidence to the contrary. It seemed so strange that one could process the evidence but not let go of the belief.

In any case, it became more satisfying to me to think that what we believe is not up to us. It is up to something else, say the brain. This something else creates the experiences of believing whatever, or anything. What we normally think of as so essential to beliefs - evidence and logic - have nothing at all to do with beliefs. Believing something is just the experience of believing.

Moving on. I have had a few hypnagogic hallucinations before, although not in a long time. And now, hypnagogic delusions. That's right. There have been a few occasions recently when falling asleep that I have believed something that was false. I guess then these weren't true delusions: how did I know they were false? It was a strange experience of experiencing a belief in a way that it seemed 99% as real as any normal belief but with a 1% of me saying "this is not true." For example, I had as I was falling asleep this strange experience of believing that certain gestures of the hand would cause me to know all there is to know. Even then there was the 1% of me saying "this is absurd and not true!" But I could not release myself from the experience. I was stuck for a while in the experience of believing. The other occasion was less bizarre but of the same nature and involved believing things from childhood inaccurately.

What's the cause of this? Now, how would I know. I can say that I have been practicing self-hypnosis and visualization a lot lately. That has seemed to have led to some very brief episodes of lucid dreaming. It makes sense because the experiences of visualization and hypnosis are a lot like dreaming, and it does seem like practice for lucid dreaming. It doesn't seem strange then that it has caused my mind to become overactive in other ways.

Now, more about hypnosis. I have found the experience to be sometimes frustrating and sometimes fascinating. I remember getting the impression from t.v. that detectives sometimes use hypnosis to cause witnesses of crime to recall "forgotten" details. I don't know if this is true, but if it is I can see why. During hypnosis, details of the past sometimes flood in with abundance and ease that I would not be able to produce in ordinary consciousness. Another interesting thing about the experience are the emotions that rouse. I remember one uneventful day on which my emotions were somewhat flat. No highs, or lows. I went into hypnosis and took myself back to the home I first lived in. Many details of the scenery came with ease. I saw myself as a young child, exploring the creek behind our house. I saw myself and my love of plants and animals that I still have today. That time is gone now and it was so tender to witness it again. Like I said, the experience turned around what had been an emotionally flat day.

Turmeric Tea

I know how to make turmeric tea now. Bring one cup of water to a boil and pour over one-quarter teaspoon of ground turmeric (from the spice rack). Let steep for 10 minutes, covered to keep hot, and stir occasionally. Pour into second cup trough ordinary tea strainer. Not all sediment will be removed, but don't worry. In the second cup, after straining, add one diced ginger candy. This adds sweetness and the ginger combines nicely with turmeric. (One ginger candy has 5 grams of sugar. See http://www.gingerpeople.com). The tea will still be hot. Stir to dissolve the ginger candy, then enjoy.

I made this tea for the first time today and it was delicious, stimulating but without caffeine.